Whoops! A few weeks late for this one, forgive me, but I have been bu-sy. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been to two countries, four states, and have taken countless planes, trains and automobiles. I am knackered (more to come on those trips shortly). But! I now have a modicum of spare time to get down to it and review these empties from last month. Bit of a weird mix this time – put it this way, you can tell the sun’s starting to shine…


Total number of products used up: 25

Estimated retail value of products used up: £173.28

Total value of products used up this year already: £482.53

What did I think of them? Weelll…

Face Products


(L-R: Primark H2OHH Micellar Wipes, Soap & Glory Face Soap & Clarity Facial Wash, Garnier Micellar Water, Up&Up Apricot Scrub)

Primark H20hh Micellar Wipes – 6/10 – As my last review of these (because they were bought in a pack of two, duh), these were fine and did the job, but I’m still not sure why it shouts about the micellar factor, it’s a bit of a buzzword and doesn’t really mean too much. All killa no filla?

Soap & Glory Soap & Clarity Facial Wash – 5/10 – Ehhh. This was fine. It was incredibly soapy (lol duh the name), and foamed up ridiculously. It also contained little beads that burst for no apparent reason (y tho). Made my face clean but not tight, so at least that was something I guess? Probably wouldn’t repurchase, namely because I have another bottle of the stuff in my extensive stash I need to get through (damn my hoarding sensitivities!).

Garnier Micellar Water – 10/10 – I’ve sung the praises of this bad boy before, this was a mini bottle I picked up in Barcelona on a work trip last year (still haven’t used up the big bottle I bought after my last review in January). Love love love. The only thing I can guarantee will get rid of my daily raccoon makeup, and at a budget price.

Up&Up Apricot Scrub – 8/10 – I bought this in Target last year on a trip to New York – my skin loves a good scrub (don’t @ me dermatologists), and this one was great. Densely packed, smelled great, and made my skin soft as a baby’s bum. A contender for St Ives, for sure.


Hair Products


(L-R: Pantene Foam Conditioner, Mane ‘n’ Tail Shampoo, Mane ‘n’ Tail Conditioner, Aussie 3 Minute Miracle Conditioner, Dove BB Cream sample)

Pantene Foam Conditioner – 2/10 – You guys. I have very long, very thick, wavy hair. I do not need something marketed as weightless – to the contrary, I need something that will weigh my hair down so I don’t look like Crystal Tipps:

Screen Shot 2019-04-13 at 20.13.06

Add to the mix the fact Pantene shoehorned our least favourite buzzword ‘micellar’ in the name, and this was a no from me. I genuinely can’t think of anyone who would benefit from this.

Mane ‘n’ Tail Shampoo and Conditioner – 5/10 – I’m honestly getting sick of writing about this brand, so it’s a good thing these two are the last of my M&T stash. Bog standard shampoo and conditioner that did not make me look like a prized filly, but rather a thirty year old with slightly less dull hair. Give me this horse’s shine, goddammit:

Screen Shot 2019-04-13 at 20.18.30

Aussie 3 Minute Miracle Conditioner – 8/10 – I love the Aussie brand. Yes, the fragrance is a little overpowering at times, but listen, the stuff works. My hair felt fantastic after using this, but I am knocking some points off for the weird smell.

Dove BB Cream – 2/10 – siiiiigh. Listen. BB cream, as defined by Wikipedia, is a ‘marketing term’ (Wikipedia hitting the beauty industry with the piping hot tea), and is generally designed to serve as a foundation, moisturizer, and sunscreen all at once. I ask you – what do the above have to do with haircare? Get rid of the wishy washy terms, and call this product what it is – a greasy thick cream that makes your hair look like you’ve dipped it in a fish fryer.


Fake Tan


(L-R: B Tan Tanned AF… Mousse, Cocoa Brown 1 Hour Tan Mousse x 3, Velvotan Tanning Mitt)

B Tan Tanned AF… Mousse – 8/10 – Terrible name aside, this was a really nice tan. Went on VERY dark, to the extent where I was terrified I’d look potentially very problematic in the morning, but developed evenly and washed off to reveal a natural golden tan that lasted nicely. Great stuff, and from memory not too expensive. Give it a go, just forget about the name.

Cocoa Brown 1 Hour Tan Mousse – 2/10 – Such a pain that one of the tans I’d bulk bought over the past few years didn’t actually look good on. Gave off a really weird smell when I put it on, and washed it off in the morning to reveal… well, nothing really. I’m sorry to say that I actually tipped 2.5 of these bottles down the sink because I couldn’t bear to use them. Meh.

Velvotan Tanning Mitt – 8/10 – I’m classing this as an empty because the interior of the mitt has sadly deteriorated over many months of regular tanning usage, but man, was it a nice mitt. Soft, gave a really nice finish (makes me sound like a carpenter, whatevs), thick, and didn’t do that gross thing where the tan seeps through onto your hand. Yeah, happy with this purchase. Give it a whirl.




(L-R: BH Cosmetics Endora liquid lipstick, Essence Lash Mania mascara, Maybelline Fit Me pressed powder, Rimmel Fix & Perfect primer)

BH Cosmetics Endora liquid lipstick – 8/10 – Man, this is the perfect shade for me. Smooth. Matte. And lasts really nicely. Why does it have to be made by an American company though? *sobs at thought of high shipping costs*.

Essence Lash Mania mascara – 8/10 – I’ve already banged on about this in a previous post, but what I didn’t say was that I only had two tubes of this mascara left… and the one used up in March was my last tube. *sobs again*. I’m currently using a much pricier mascara and honestly, in comparison to Essence, it’s absolutely terrible (watch out for that review next month!). Save your money and go for a cheap mascara – I promise you nobody will be able to tell the difference, aside from your bank manager.

Maybelline Fit Me pressed powder – 9/10 – Pretty nice translucent powder, this one, and came with a nice little sponge and mirror, so that if you’re a particularly organised person you’ll be able to touch up your T-Zone on the go. Unfortunately I am not that organised, but I still very much enjoyed this powder. It set my makeup nicely and didn’t cost the earth. Nice one.

Rimmel Fix & Perfect primer – 9/10 – Look, I’ve reviewed this twice already this year. It’s lovely and my go-to primer – nothing more to say. BUY IT, IT ONLY COSTS A FIVER. And expect to see it next month in the empties round up!




(L-R: Benefit’s Maybe Baby, Calvin Klein’s Endless Euphoria)

Benefit Maybe Baby – 5/10 – Jesus Christ is this perfume strong. Almost migrainey. Very vintage/retro themed, but unfortunately with that came a nostril onslaught with undertones of talcum powder. If you fancy yourself as a 50’s bombshell, buy this, but maybe spray once on the neck in the middle of a field somewhere, and then leave it for the day – trust me, you’ll be fine.

Calvin Klein Endless Euphoria – 2/10 – Oh dear, Calvin. You’ve fallen from your tight-fitting boxer shorts and have landed into overpowering perfumes (what a decline). As with the Maybe Baby perfume above, this really got into the nostrils and not in a good way. I originally bought this because some idiot on Fragrantica said it was a great dupe of Marc Jacobs’ Daisy, which is one of my favourites. I didn’t get Daisy from this at all, and instead ended up with an aggressive floral bouquet on my neck and wrists. Couldn’t wait for this to be used up. Its only positive was that it didn’t last too long.


Body Products


(L-R: Le Petit Marseillais Body Lotion, Soap & Glory The Scrub Of Your Life, Bath & Body Works Marshmallow Flurries Hand Soap, Perfect Moments Body Wash, Kiehls Creme de Corps body butter)

Le Petit Marseillais Body Lotion – 7/10 – I picked this up in Barcelona last year after realising I was part-woman part-lizard, and y’know what, for a relatively inexpensive body lotion, it really was not bad at all. Smelt lovely, and did the job. The only issue was a slight greasiness after applying, but I can forego that for the price and the divine smell. Yummerz.

Soap & Glory The Scrub Of Your Life – 6/10 – Ah, this was fine. It did the job. Not as scrubby as I’d have liked, and a VERY intense smell (that old classic Soap & Glory fragrance, you know the one), but as for scrub action, yeah, not too shabby. Probably wouldn’t buy it again (using a really good one at the moment that I will be reviewing later, watch out y’all!).

Bath & Body Works Marshmallow Flurries Hand Soap – 7/10 – Oh B&BW, when are you opening a branch in the UK? Love these foaming hand soaps (reviewed one pretty much every month now, no?) – this one was lovely but had a weird smokey edge to the fragrance, which knocked some points off.

Perfect Moments Body Wash – 6/10 – In the bottle this looked lovely and shimmery, but on the skin? No ma’am, the shimmer must have gone straight down the sink. Rubbish. It smelt nice and kept me clean, so props for that, I guess?

Kiehl’s Creme de Corps body butter – 1/10 – I think I’m a generous and fair point allocator, I really do. I also like a lot of Kiehl’s products. But this? This was awful. Greasy, it stunk, and just sat on my skin doing nothing even after rubbing it in. I had to wash it off after half an hour. Gross.


Promise I’ll be more prompt with the next empties post… and don’t forget to look out for the trip posts too, coming up this week (hopefully…)

R xx

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